I officially have laryngitis so I am more apt to be writing my thoughts than gabbing to my husband and children. (Do I hear a grand sigh of relief from the other side of the room???) I may be on my way to my first Mexican doctor’s visit, which is weird since I haven’t been to an American doctor for medicine in about four years! Maybe it was the stress of the move or maybe my voice is rebelling against speaking Spanish and just wants to be quiet for awhile!
Today is difficult to put into words. We went to comida at Oscar and Silvia’s home. I desperately wish I could have taken more pictures but I did not want to offend our Mexican friends by taking pictures like their house was part of a National Geographic film. First of all, this is a great honor to be included in a Mexican family’s home and family. So it is not to be taken lightly. It’s funny, we’ve been invited to comida three times, so it would appear that it isn’t a huge deal but in reality it is very important. It is being invited into the family circle which is extremely important in the Mexican culture.
Their home was outside of town nestled in the hillside among coffee and cedar trees! (I saw my first coffee bean flowers today!) When we walked up the steep dirt hill, among the barking dogs and the playing children, I knew this was the real deal of Mexican life. I was greeted with the warm Mexican hug and kiss on the cheek by Silvia and then was introduced to her sister and her sister’s children. Bethany and Silvia’s niece began playing together despite a total language barrier but with lots of giggles and each of them being a little “timido” about trying to speak each other’s language.
We were served an incredible meal of chicken with mole, tamales, and rice. Along with a watermelon drink which I am hoping was made with purified water. We shall see……. We ate outside on a small picnic table which was the only family table.
I don’t know why we American’s tend to focus on what a family doesn’t have financially rather than what they do have relationally. This family has love, laughter, faith, joy, and respect for one another. There wasn’t a squabble among the siblings or arguing as cousins. There was love and laughter. We enjoyed our time and communicated as best possible. When we were finished eating Oscar took Gary aside and offered us their home to live in. We are thoroughly humbled and amazed at this culture. How could a man offer a family, who he just met two weeks ago, his family home? It’s an incredible thought and one that will take years for me to even grasp.
Gary handled the moment graciously and they discussed our looking at a variety of houses. What do you say to a man who has offered you everything he has? How do you admit that his home isn’t nice enough for our American sensitivities? I pray that he never realizes this sad truth.
It must be so difficult for a Mexican immigrant, legal or otherwise, coming to the states after growing up in such a giving culture and not realizing the independent nature of the American culture. Here is a Mexican family ready to give us all they have when they have only known us for two weeks. It must come as quite a culture shock to a Mexican family when that doesn’t happen north of the border.
After we sat around the table and talked Nathaniel was invited to “hang out with the guys” for awhile. So Oscar loaded up his small car with eight people (yes we were riding on top of each other) and took Gary, Bethany, and I home and then after Nathaniel changed his clothes the guys went to play “futbol” and hang out! Gary and I were fine with him going, but as the evening wore on and it got dark I began to worry. First of all, we thought Josue (Oscar and Silvia’s 16 year old son) and his brother and cousins were being dropped off to play soccer somewhere in the city, we didn’t know that Oscar was going to be with them. Secondly, I tend to be overly protective where Nathaniel is concerned because of his life threatening metabolic disorder. “What if he has a metabolic need and I’m not there to take care of him”. And so on and so forth.
I tried to pass the time by doing something constructive so I studied Spanish for an hour but once the stars shone brightly in the sky I began to panic. It was getting later and later and I had no idea where Nathaniel was and had no possible way to get a hold of him. (We haven’t bought Mexican cell phones yet.) I took the laundry up to the roof so that I could work off some nervous energy by washing clothes. But all that did was give me a private place to lose control so I stood up on the roof over looking Taxco and wept. I was really an emotional mess. “What kind of a parent leaves their child in a foreign country with nearly total strangers?” and on and on the emotions went. Bethany was concerned and later told me that she was worried about the metabolic issues and what if he had a problem. Then I really lost it when I saw Gary pacing at the front gate wondering where his son was. If Gary gets worried then there’s really something to worry about!
Finally, after what seemed like hours, the front gate opened and a joyful fourteen year old boy appeared having had the time of his life with his new friends. I flew down the uneven rock hewn stairs from the roof to see how he was. Gary came down after me and we all sat down to listen to his evening adventure, alone in Mexico without his family!
As it turns out Oscar and the boys went together to kick soccer ball around and have some fun together. Had I known that Oscar was with them I wouldn’t have been nearly as worried. Nathaniel had a great time and really deepened the friendship with Oscar’s two sons, Emanuel and Josua. I think he’s well on his way to having some really good friendships and learned some soccer skills in the process. We were all so happy for him despite how difficult it was to let go.
We’ve been in Mexico for 17 days. So much has happened, there are so many things to ponder. Will we ever be the same? If we went back to Colorado today what would our response be to our house and our possessions? Would we feel blessed or empty? Of course I miss my home but was my life full of the love and relationships that these people have? Or was it full of meetings and possessions? I think if we Americans were wise we would envy our Mexican brothers for they have a treasure that cannot be bought or sold but lies deep within their hearts.
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