We’ve been in Taxco for two weeks now. It’s so funny to think what a short amount of time we’ve been here and how long ago it feels that we were in Loveland. What’s even weirder is to think that it was winter when we left and we’re in the middle of hot summer right now. It just feels like everything in Colorado was so long ago. Change makes everything seem longer.
I have been pondering change for awhile now. Actually ever since I got my hearing aids I’ve been thinking about situations that include incredible change. What was it like for the blind man in the Bible who Jesus healed? For all of my life I have thought of that amazing miracle and have only thought of how wonderful it must have been for that man born blind to finally see. Since he was blind from birth he would have never seen his family or a flower or a star filled night sky! What would it be like to see those things for the first time? How would he have felt to look at his wife for the first time? How could he have pictured her if he had been born blind? What would it be like to see her for the very first time after only having the sense of touch to give him clues to her eyes, the softness of her skin, and the beauty of her hair? What an incredible moment that would be. Yet, now that I’ve walked through the change of being able to hear and the changing of countries, I realize that even good change can be incredibly difficult.
When I got my hearing-aids everyone kept saying how wonderful it must be for me and how excited I must be. Yet, I was dying on the inside. Every moment of my life was different. I had no “normal” life during my waking hours. Everything was different, yet everything was good. I never experienced anything quite like that before. Where something was very good but also very difficult. I could hear birds singing that I never heard before. I could hear conversations that I never heard before and I could relax with my family and not strain to hear them. Yet why was I suffering so much???? It was because of one simple word and that is change! My emotions and my brain had to learn to process the song of birds and the sound of my children’s voices. I had to learn what sounds to be alerted at and what sounds to ignore. The first time Gary and I went to Denver I drove him crazy because I was so jumpy. “What was that noise”? “It was a siren dear”. “WHAT WAS THAT?” “It was the breaks on a truck….dear!” And so on. Every moment of every day was filled with new things that I had to process emotionally and intellectually. My brain had to catagorize what sounds should create an emergency response and what sounds should be ignored. What really struck me in this was how good it was to hear but how difficult it was to learn to hear!
It’s amazing to me that I went through this process with my hearing –aids only a few weeks before we moved to Mexico. That experience has helped me tremendously in understanding why change is difficult even when it’s good change.
When we eat comida we watch the hummingbirds sucking nectar from the flowers surrounding our outside table.
I have always loved hummingbirds and wished we had more than one or two a summer in Loveland. There are hundreds here in Taxco! I see many each day. There is such beauty surrounds our lives. Yet, change is difficult.
I also love having him home with me, even when home is a totally new and foreign place. When he lost his home office over two years ago it just ripped my heart out and completely changed our family dynamics for those two long years. When Nathaniel had a question in math he could no longer run upstairs to Dad’s office and ask him for help. When I was digging a hole for roses, in the Colorado clay, I could no longer say, “Honey, could you help me for a minute? When he had his home office he did his job but he was available to us during those times when we just wanted to give him a kiss, share a bagel together or have a complex math problem solved. Of course, now he will be about the work of being a missionary, as we all will be, but It’s such a blessing to have him here with us, teaching us Spanish, running out to the mercado for me, and leading us in Bible study. I’m so thankful to finally have my husband back home!
So despite the change everything is good. And we know that all the upheaval in our emotions is very similar to the upheaval I experienced with my hearing-aids. We’re learning to “hear” our world in a totally new way and it is very difficult but it is also very good!
I read a book this winter on cross cultural moves. The author said that it took her two months of living in a new country to see and hear the beautiful exotic birds that were around her new home. She was too much in a state of shock to see the beauty that was all around her.
The book was talking about culture shock but I think I would like to come up with a new term; we aren’t in culture shock we are in change shock. Every time I read about culture shock it focuses on the annoyance of people doing things differently in another culture. We’re not feeling that way at all. But I don’t think any of us can deny that we are going through “Change Shock” that comes from every aspect of our lives being radically different. We feel that we’ve been prepared for the change, such as all the books I read on hearing loss and hearing-aids before I was fitted for mine. I suppose if the person that Jesus healed would have known ahead of time his friends and family could have prepared him, “Your wife’s eyes are jet black and sparkle when she looks at you.” Never-the-less, could anything have prepared him for that moment? In the same way, we have spent four years preparing for this move to Taxco yet the change is still incredible. It’s wonderful and difficult all at the same time.
The book was talking about culture shock but I think I would like to come up with a new term; we aren’t in culture shock we are in change shock. Every time I read about culture shock it focuses on the annoyance of people doing things differently in another culture. We’re not feeling that way at all. But I don’t think any of us can deny that we are going through “Change Shock” that comes from every aspect of our lives being radically different. We feel that we’ve been prepared for the change, such as all the books I read on hearing loss and hearing-aids before I was fitted for mine. I suppose if the person that Jesus healed would have known ahead of time his friends and family could have prepared him, “Your wife’s eyes are jet black and sparkle when she looks at you.” Never-the-less, could anything have prepared him for that moment? In the same way, we have spent four years preparing for this move to Taxco yet the change is still incredible. It’s wonderful and difficult all at the same time.
One thing that I am very grateful for is how wonderfully Gary and I doing together. First of all, the man just retired and that can bring chaos to any marriage. And secondly, well we just moved to a remote city in Southern Mexico and of course that could bring major chaos to most marriages. In all reality the last couple months before we left Loveland was much more difficult in our relationship than the actual move to Mexico has been. We are delighted to have more time together and we have been really enjoying discovering Mexico as a couple.
I am so proud of Gary and how he has led us around this city and taken care of our family. We had no clue that so few people would speak even a word of English so we are really in a sink or swim situation with learning Spanish. Gary has taken such good care of us. I really feel protected and loved with him by my side. It may seem like a small thing but even getting a taxi to go to the grocery store is a major accomplishment. Gary has been able to negotiate everything from taxi fare in Spanish to taking me out to a restaurant. Very few people speak a word of English so the simplest things take a great deal of effort and Gary has done so much for me that I feel like a bride who is newly in love with her beloved. It’s been such a treat to be totally taken care of by such a wonderful and capable man!
I also love having him home with me, even when home is a totally new and foreign place. When he lost his home office over two years ago it just ripped my heart out and completely changed our family dynamics for those two long years. When Nathaniel had a question in math he could no longer run upstairs to Dad’s office and ask him for help. When I was digging a hole for roses, in the Colorado clay, I could no longer say, “Honey, could you help me for a minute? When he had his home office he did his job but he was available to us during those times when we just wanted to give him a kiss, share a bagel together or have a complex math problem solved. Of course, now he will be about the work of being a missionary, as we all will be, but It’s such a blessing to have him here with us, teaching us Spanish, running out to the mercado for me, and leading us in Bible study. I’m so thankful to finally have my husband back home!
So despite the change everything is good. And we know that all the upheaval in our emotions is very similar to the upheaval I experienced with my hearing-aids. We’re learning to “hear” our world in a totally new way and it is very difficult but it is also very good! 
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