Spiritual warfare and God's favor and blessings flowing around us!

This morning the fog is dancing on the mountains as it frequently does on early mornings in the rainy season. This would arguably be the best climate on the planet. We have tons of rain in the middle of the night, which creates a beautiful lush green environment and then every day is sunny with pleasant temperatures in the 70s! Amazing!

Sometimes I want to blog because my heart is simply full and I need to write. Other times the writing is more difficult. I think when Mexico hits my emotions I can write and write and write but when God touches our spirit in Mexico, I am unable to adequately express what is in my spirit and therefore I am left without words. Something that strikes me as I read Revelation in the Bible is how many times John says, "It was like" or "it was as if". John the apostle,  is seeing a vision from God and cannot express it in human terms. Yet, human language is all that John had to express the mysteries of God so he was left with, "It is like this and it was like that" rather than saying exactly what he saw. How can you express the glory of God in human terms? It is impossible! So John was left with describing things of the spirit in physical earthly terms.

Of course, it goes without saying that I am not comparing this blog to the Revelation of Jesus Christ in the Bible! But I am saying that when God touches our spirits with a truth or a situation that is only spiritually discerned, it is very difficult to write about that in human terms. But I will try!

The past couple of weeks have been very difficult. I don't think any of the reasons are simple and earthly in origin and therefore it is complicated to explain.  As we begin to pray against the evil spirits that dwell in Taxco, we are seeing the retribution of the enemy in major ways in our life. We have expected this as missionaries but it is still painful to deal with in the every day of life.

We've had everything from intense emotional discouragement, to a man (from the States) calling us Satan, to massive amounts of mold attacking Nathaniel's bedroom walls. This is all amid the beauty of Mexico, the delight of our friendships and the enjoyment of our life in Taxco. The only way to describe our life in Mexico is that we are like a cake or an onion, which ever you choose to munch on! There are multiple layers to our life in Taxco. The spirit layer is what rules us and where our heart lies, but it is also the place where we walk in spiritual warfare with the enemy of our soul. Everything bad is somehow related to the intensity of the spiritual warfare around us. The good of Taxco is wonderful but Mexico with all her delights cannot inoculate us against the enemy of our souls. It's a difficult dichotomy to live with and even more complex to try to explain.  

The evil one was harassing me with thoughts of running away from our call to Mexico. One night, I had a vision type of dream, where satan was filling our home with rocks as he stood on top of the pile and with an evil screeching voice screamed, "GET OUT OF MEXICO!!!!" I woke Gary up and he and I began to pray, then I got out of bed and prayed for two hours! Yet, the evilness was thick, like a mud or ooze that was covering our house. It was at this same time that Nathaniel's room was covered with an impenetrable amount of dangerous mold. At every waking moment I could feel the evil one shouting at us, "GET OUT!" and in my human frailty I wanted to run away, back to the safety of the States. Our emotions were raw, weak and frail. Yet, God is faithful to get us through as we rely totally and completely upon him.

During the week we took the combi downtown trying to shake off the oppression that we felt. As we stumbled around town we felt lost and alone and knew that a simple walk through Taxco was not going to rescue us during this very strong attack. We wondered into a historical hotel and were surprised to find that the wife of a man from church was running the hotel! She talked to us for a few moments and then invited us to comida.

We had a delicious meal in their beautiful and wealthy home but more importantly they were begging Gary and me to teach and disciple them. We walked away humbled and amazed! God is opening the doors to ministry all around us. Of course, the evil one keeps shouting at us, "GET OUT OF MEXICO!!!" but as we see God working and opening doors to the gospel we are encouraged to persevere and share the gospel despite the incredible attack from the enemy.

Nathaniel and an after dinner chess match!

Yesterday was just another example of God's favor upon us and his opening the doors to ministry. We had 14 people for comida! I made chicken corden Bleu with a mushroom and ham sauce, green beans with walnuts and butter, spaetzel, fresh homemade bread, salad, and mint chip brownies topped with ice cream. To drink we had a juice mixture of Melon(fresh cantaloupe) peach, apple, and pineapple as well as organic Mexican grown coffee which was too strong for our local friends. They drink Nescafe

It was such a pleasant time, with a lot of laughter as well as some serious sharing of spiritual things. We love these people, which is what makes ministry like this work. We have an agenda of unity but our expression of love is what greases the machinery and makes the "agenda" of unity work.
 (I would have loved to have taken more pictures of our actual dinner together, we had multiple tables set up and people everywhere! But I was too busy cooking and serving to think of my camera. These pictures are all after dinner when everyone was scattered about enjoying one another.)

The local churches are full of more animosity towards one another than Gary and I have ever seen in any other place on earth! Within a particular church there seems to be a lot of friendship, love and unity but towards other believers in the city there is a strong sense of back biting and hatred. We seem to be right in the middle of it all with neighbors from one church, a landlord from another, our initial friendships in Taxco from another church, and many close relationships extending across the denominational lines. Gary and I believe that before a mighty move of God can happen in Taxco there needs to be unity among the evangelical churches. This is far from what currently is going on but it is our heartfelt prayer that the churches would walk in unity and love with one another.

Yesterday's comida was with a local pastor, his wife and son, and several others in leadership. At an other time we will have other pastors and leaders and then finally after we have established language and relationships we will attempt a city-wide gathering of local pastors. This is a huge undertaking and one that could only be accomplished by the Holy Spirit. Without the strength and working of God in our midst the love and unity will never happen!

But aside from our "agenda" of unity, we had such a wonderful time yesterday. Everyone clicked together and enjoyed one another's company. Love and laughter filled our home and filled our hearts with love and joy!

 For now, the evil oppression has lifted. But as we have read many missionary stories and have prepared for this for years, spiritual warfare is part and parcel of the life of a missionary. Life isn't all pina coladas, sunsets over the mountains and walks on the beach! Because of this, we put on the full armor of God and press on to finish the race that God has put before us!



Where is our home???

Gary and I had a pleasant and wonderful day in town together yesterday. We walked on the steep cobblestone road (we're talking a 50% incline!) clear into town, which is totally up hill for about 2 kilometers and then it levels off a bit as we enter the more downtown area. We walked at least four kilometers and we both felt great! We sat together among the hibiscus flowers in the zocalo, which is the town square, and enjoyed an iced tea to cool down after walking such a distance. And then we walked up Calle Guadalupe (one of the steepest streets in town!) to visit Oscar and Silvia, but they weren't home. Finally we ended up at a little restaurant called El Adobe and enjoyed a nice leisurely lunch together before walking some more!


  El Adobe is "our restaurant" as we've been there several times and enjoy it as a couple. The owners know us personally at this point and give us special treatment when we are able to sneak away for a date time together. Yesterday afternoon we sat at a little table that is tucked on a balcony and overlooks the city. Italy would be hard pressed to create such a picturesque setting. It truly is beautiful here!

We also sauntered around a beautiful local hotel anticipating our anniversary in November. The grounds are incredible with brilliant trees that have orange flowers, palm trees and every exotic tropical flower imaginable. We finally ended up in the office of the hotel to check on pricing. The owner is a man from church! He said that he would give us really good rates, so I think we'll be able to stay at this beautiful location on our 17th anniversary in November!

It's amazing to me that God called us to Mexico as missionaries. What a place to "suffer for the Lord!" It's funny, when we first began to think internationally regarding our ministry, we were joking about being "called" to Hawaii, Fiji or some other exotic tropical paradise. We laughed and put those ideas aside as we began to pray about what difficult land God might be asking us to move to. We really didn't understand how happy we would be in Mexico until we had settled into our every day life in Taxco. There was so much dying to our own desires, giving up our family treasures and selling everything we had, that we felt such a sense of sacrifice in this whole process. Until now! Little did we know that God would give us a mandate to teach and preach the gospel in a land that we love and to people that we adore. Of course we would go anywhere in obedience to him but we are so grateful for his grace and his gifts of joy as we live out our life in Mexico!

I am in a very introspective mood and I'm not sure where that will take me. My struggle in this blog and really in my life, is being true to myself and writing from my heart rather than writing to please people. As I have matured in my life I have become first and foremost a woman who lives her life to please and serve God, her husband and her children. However, those demons of people-pleasing can still rear their ugly heads from time to time. I think this happens when I fear being misinterpreted. I don't mind if people totally disagree with me and think I am a ridiculous person. I really don't mind that at all! (It happens too frequently for me to continue to be upset by it!) However, what rips me apart inside is when people misunderstand who I am and what I am writing without comprehending my heart in the matter. Therefore, I don't struggle with being accepted and agreed with but in making sure that I am understood. Having said that, I greatly enjoy this outlet of writing, so I am going to write from my heart and allow what may be to be.

What I am pondering today is regarding something I touched upon in a previous blog that was written a couple of months ago. I am thinking about "home" and what makes a location feel like home for my family and me. I have lived in Pennsylvania, Michigan, Colorado, California and now Guerrero, Mexico. Out of those locations I would have to say that the places that lay hold to my heart are Pennsylvania, Colorado and Mexico.

Gary and I lived in California for two years but I can't say that we've ever missed California or that it ever became home to us. We enjoyed our time there, particularly when we lived in the San Fransisco Bay area. There were tons of interesting things to see, wonderful Chinese restaurants, and flowers blooming year round but California really never became home to our family.

As a single gal I lived in Michigan for two years. But again, it never become home to me. I enjoyed the friendships in Grand Rapids. I loved living close enough to Lake Michigan to ride my bike there and sit on the beach. I had a good job and I learned a lot during those years of my life but it never really became home to me. I've never missed either California or Michigan. They were locations where I lived but they were never home.


 Honestly, in my emotions and my heart, Pennsylvania will always first and foremost be my home. I can get choked up with just a moment of thought about things that are unique to Pennsylvania. Yet, Colorado has laid claim to my heart as well. I think it's nearly impossible to spend 14 years in a location and raise a family without it becoming home. Am I a Pennsylvania gal or a Colorado gal? Well, honestly both! At nearly 46 years of age, having been gone for a good portion of my life, would I still fit into the Pennsylvania culture? Sadly, like Eliza Doolittle from My Fair Lady, I wouldn't fit into the down-home country lifestyle where I grew up. I've spent 14 years in Colorado gaining culture, enjoying the western focus on health and fitness and learning how to react properly in social settings.

What would I do if suddenly thrown back into my Pennsylvania roots with square dances, Steeler games, country music and yunz guys? I would probably feel very out of place, yet, in my heart I still long for that culture because it is home. Could I go back to that culture and be happy? No, frankly I couldn't. Did I ever really feel at home in Colorado? No, I didn't. Most times, I felt like a country hick that was always trying to play catch up as people talked about their careers and their education. I really relate to My Fair Lady. Eliza wasn't fit for the homeless street life of London after Henry Higgens made a "lady" out of her, but having come from the streets she really didn't fit into the cultured society either. So what's a girl to do?

 I have come to the conclusion, after pondering this for years, that there isn't a way to really go back home when so much time, distance and change have separated me from these precious memories.

The inability to go back and re-create something that meant a tremendous amount in my life, hit me deeply when Gary and I were first married. We went together to the Allegheny National Forest where I spent every summer of my childhood. As a  young girl I dreamed of one day bringing my husband to our favorite family campground, Loleta. I imagined what it would be like to share this magical place with my husband.

In reality I stood in the middle of the campground and cried. Nothing was the same and Gary really didn't care about the special rock that my sister and I played on, the swimming area where Bob the lifeguard worked and every girl had a crush on, or the location where my friend Marci and I saw a bear when we were eleven and camping together!

 Of course Gary tried. He feigned interested, but there really isn't any way to go back and effectively relive those special childhood memories. The pines smelled the same, the sound of the swimming area took me back to every summer of my childhood, and the creaking of the wooden bridge sounded exactly as I remembered it. Yet, I was now a married woman with a baby on the way. There wouldn't be any way to really "go back" and try to re-create the same experience with my husband that I had treasured when I was a young girl.

During our life in Colorado I missed so many things about Pennsylvania. The taste of freshly pressed cider and the crackle of leaves under my feet as I would walk through the forest on a crisp autumn day. There are so many sights and sounds that represent home to me, home in Pennsylvania. Even a rare cloudy day in Colorado meant a major celebration in our family because the clouds represented Pennsylvania and home! I could probably list 100 important things that I missed while living in Colorado that were the essence of home to me.

The deciduous forests of Pennsylvania particularly in the fall, the laid back country feel of life, hearing country music in stores and restaurants, having a more friendly people-oriented culture, cardinals, lightning bugs and burning hickory logs in the fireplace! Pot lucks, game nights and square dances! TREES! Many trees on the mountains and hills versus the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. Country bears, antiques, and white twinkle lights decorating a country home year round. Folks that say, "Yunz come on over sometime and we'll watch the Steelers!" Going to a Christmas tree farm and cutting down a tree in the snow rather than the blazing Colorado sun! Giant Eagle, Shop-n-Save and the good ole Butler mall! Home-made apple pie from Soergels Orchard! Building a bonfire in the back yard at any time of the year without worrying about dry weather and forest fires. And the list of memories goes on and on.

 A girl's childhood home is like a young girl's first love; nothing ever really can take it's place. Yet, Colorado did become home to our family, particularly our house in Loveland. This is where our children's most formative years were spent. They grew from being little kids to their teen years in this house. We planted gardens, enjoyed picnics and played many games in that house.


And nothing can move my heart like the swing where Gary and I spent countless summer hours. Our back yard park area, complete with a redwood picnic table that Gary made, swimming pool, flower gardens, and of course the canopy swing! Our call to be missionaries to Mexico was born as Gary and I sat on that swing, talking and praying together!

 Other things that became part of our life in Loveland were the many hiking areas that we went to as a family, the campgrounds that we went to in the fall and the horseback riding that we did in the mountains. Nathaniel and Bethany's best friends, the Pedersen children and their antics and laughter filling our home. Noah, across the street and how joyful he always was and how much he and Nathaniel spent so much time together during our last summer in Colorado.

 Wildflowers, Stellers Jays and elk! The majesty of the Rocky Mountains, the thrill of living somewhere that has such intense physical beauty, the glorious never ending Colorado sun and blue sky! Organics, vitamins, and health food stores! Gyms, bike trails, and hiking! Penquins ice cream shop, take out Chinese from our favorite restaurant, and Krispy Kreme Donuts! Yes, Colorado became home to our family. Gary and I have spent most of our married life in Colorado and we have many fond memories!

And then there is Mexico! It's difficult to explain how a place can become home in such a short amount of time. Yet, we as a family, talk about this all the time. What would we do if we went back to Loveland? There are so many things that have become part of our hearts and lives in our home in Taxco that would rip us apart to leave. Taxco has become home to our family, not simply an exciting vacation or tourist trip. It has become home in a way that other places have not.

The combi buses and the comaraderie that happens on them. The smiles from friends. The sound of the trash truck, gas truck and tortilla guy driving down our road. The beauty of a colonial city and the thrill of living in a town that has 500 years of history! The cobble stone streets, the sound of the ice cream man and the chickens announcing their presence any time of the day! The high value that is placed on children and family. Having friends and being with them many times a week. Game nights and birthday parties. The beauty of the Spanish language. The intoxicating fragrance of the grilled food being cooked in the open air market. Smiling people! Friendly people! And happy people! Generosity, kindness, and helpfulness. Exotic tropical birds, flowers and trees that sing and bloom year round.

Mexico is something that hits you full force. It doesn't sneak up on you and fill your heart throughout the years, it hits you all at once, like getting married or having a baby! A person cannot ignore Mexico in any way, shape or form. It hits you full force, either for good or for bad. Many people hate it and many people love it, but no one can have a lukewarm feeling or opinion about Mexico. It either quickly becomes truly home that you love and feel passionately about or you hate Mexico and long for the day you can return to "normal life" in the States. There's just no middle ground where Mexico is concerned.

 And as in marriage, expats in Mexico either have a really good experience or a really bad experience immediately! The people I know, who have had really bad marriages, have known it was bad on their honeymoon! They knew they made a major mistake when they walked down the aisle but, sadly, didn't know how to get out of it. Others have known very early on, that despite the normal problems in life that they were going to have a solid wonderful marriage. I think it's the "in-between" marriages that take a longer amount of time to figure out whether it will end in divorce or if it will become a life-long meshing of two people, two cultures, and two lives. As expats in Mexico share their stories with us it seems that Mexico is never an "in-between" relationship for anyone. You either love it or hate it immediately but you never feel unsure of the outcome. Mexico smacks you in the face the moment you get off the airplane and it doesn't take many days to know whether it will end in divorce or not.

Having disected this whole issue, where actually is home for our family? Is home on a mountainside in Colorado? Is home among the pines in the Allegeny National Forest of Pennsylvania? Is home in the cobblestone streets of Taxco? YES! All three of these wonderful places comprise the essence of who we are as a family. This is life as a multi-cultural family. On the negative side, we never quite feel totally at home anywhere. But on the positive side, we've had so many wonderfully amazing opportunities as we have lived in such varied locations. It's a fact of life that we cannot go back and be soley happy in Pennsylvania as though our life in Colorado never happened. Or live in Colorado as though I wasn't born and raised in Pennsylvania. What about Mexico? Could we possibly leave now and pretend that this life changing experience never happened? Mexico has become part of our DNA. We are branded for life from all three of these places that have been home to our family. If Taxco was just a place to hang our hat, yes, we could go back. If we felt about Mexico like we do about California, then yes, home would always be in the states and that would be nice and tidy and easy to explain and understand. But that is certainly not what has happened. In these nearly six months of our life in Taxco, Mexico has become inexorably part of our heart. Trying to rip her out of our life would cause deep pain. We cannot go back but we can enjoy what each of these home towns has meant to us. We can celebrate being multi-cultural or we can complain about it. Yes, it is difficult to be multi-cultural. It is painful to never really feel at home in any one place. But the benefits of this kind of life, the experiences and educational aspects for our children are tremendous. For our family, we choose to rejoice in the treasures that each of these locations have held for us rather than focus on the negative that each location doesn't hold for us. Yes, there is pain but there is also much joy as we live out our life as a multi-cultural family!

A cup of coffee, time alone with my husband and a pondering heart!

I'm sitting here looking out of the arched doorways onto the balcony that over looks the mountains. Jazz is playing in the background and I am sipping a fresh pot of organic Mexican coffee! Gary is in the next room and the kiddos are off on an adventure. Sometimes it's clear that life is just plain good!

It's difficult to believe that our home school will begin in four weeks  and at that we are starting late! (I am a stickler that school should NOT begin in August!) The seasons are so different here that it is difficult for me to wrap my head around normal seasonal life.
When we moved here in March it was the hottest few months left of the dry season. April and May were unbearable hot with June having a bit of relief as the rainy season tried occasionally began and cool things off. July and August have been picture perfect. The sun shines every day, while the rains come at night. We've had a couple tropical storms that gave us torrential rain for a 3 day period but other than that it's been incredibly perfect weather. It's hot enough in the sun to enjoy any summer activity but it's so pleasant and cool in the house that I'm relaxing in jeans and this morning I had a sweat shirt on!

We haven't a clue really what the rest of the months will hold. Generally speaking we know that the rainy season ends in September or October and it can get quite cool in December and January. It is exciting to have all the "firsts" yet to come. Of course, being in Mexico, we never get below freezing and we don't have a change of seasons with the deciduous trees. But the lows can  occasionally get into the upper 30s in December with highs in the 50s and 60s. Sounds perfect and somewhat a lot like Denver, minus snow storms and blizzards! But what will this be like without any source of indoor heat and with doors that have a three inch space between the floor and the door? One thing that will be amazing is to have my roses blooming all year round and hibiscus trees flowering in December! I do love flowers!

I am excited to see what each month feels and looks like. What trees will bud? What flowers will bloom? What birds will arrive and which ones will leave? The rainy season has been vastly different with flora and fauna than the dry season was. Suddenly we have lightening bugs and tropical birds. The rivers are raging and everything is a brilliant green. What sights and sounds will the cooler weather bring?

Also, what in the world will the holidays be like in Mexico? It will be an adventure to see first hand, how Mexicans celebrate the holidays. It will be so fun to incorporate new traditions into our lives as well as share some of our favorite things with our new friends.

We are discovering that the Mexican people are absolutely thrilled to learn things about our culture, to taste our special food, and to experience something different than what they are accustomed to. It seems they are much more welcoming in this sense than the typical American is. I don't think a Mexican family moving into our old neighborhood in Loveland would be welcomed in the same way as we have been. I can't imagine a Mexican family coming to the neighborhood picnic and everyone getting so excited over flan as our neighbors have been thrilled to taste chocolate chip cookies! This has been a very pleasant surprise to us. It's a delight to share common things that are exotic and exiting to the people around us.


With this in mind, what will Thanksgiving and Christmas be like? It's fun for us to share because it's not vital to our lives to maintain our own traditions and foods. This enables us to share freely without getting hung up on what we might be missing. I'm sure that we will have a large Thanksgiving feast with all of our friends and introduce them to this holiday that is unique to the U.S. I think the joy for us comes in sharing rather than trying to maintain our own American holiday traditions. It's funny but Thanksgiving in Loveland I made Mexican turkey mole complete with every side dish being Mexican. This year, we'll probably have everything traditional in order to share the experience with our friends. Therefore, in Loveland I cooked a Mexican meal for Thanksgiving and in Mexico I'm going to cook a very traditional American meal for friends. Odd!

As I mentioned the school year is just around the corner. This is a peculiar feeling. Everything has been different in our lives that it is difficult to wrap my head around getting into a regular home school schedule and mode. Thankfully we have their curriculum already purchased and we have a basic schedule already figured out. Yesterday we went school supply shopping so we are all set to begin. It's just going to be odd doing school with year round nice weather. As well as trying to do school around all of our relationships in Mexico. Home schooling is unheard of in Mexico so we will have to make it clear that despite the fact that our children are home, that they are "busy" with school and cannot skip school to play with a baby or to help cook comida for a friend. I'm sure it will all work itself out.

We are going to focus on language acquisition as one of our main home school subjects. Gary and I feel that this international experience has such positive educational aspects in Nathaniel and Bethany's life. When they graduate from home school they will be bi-lingual, having as their second language one of the most important international languages in the world. We are very pleased at this aspect. Working on Spanish will do particularly well given the fact that the last time they took a standardized test, they were both in the 99% and in some subjects were at a college level. This gives us the freedom to lighten up in the academic area and focus on ministry and language. Still....we will be doing math and science along with Spanish and ministry experience. Math and science are two subjects that you cannot skimp on or really just "catch" in an educationally focused home, so those subjects are the priority and everything else can slide for awhile.

Also, Nathaniel and Bethany both feel called to full time ministry in their life. Gary and I have worked very hard not to put our calling as an expectation into their lives. I suppose in some ways we have erred on the side of NOT encouraging them to be in ministry. We just wanted to be so certain that it was God's call and not Gary and Rachel's influence. We have all talked about this throughout the years and as Nathaniel begins high school he adamantly told us, "YES!!!! I want to be in ministry and I feel God calling me to ministry!" So this is the track that he is on! As well as Bethany and her passion for writing and India. She feels that she will write about her life as a missionary like Amy Carmichael did! We are very happy and proud of them. They both have incredible hearts for God and want to live out his purposes in their life. We don't know where this call to ministry will take them but at least now we know what track to have them on as Nathaniel begins high school!

I'm sure I will write more about our home school as the fall months begin their dance of the passage of time within our family!

Dirt, rocks, and other missionary work!

This morning dawned early for me, 3:00 AM to be exact! I woke up with the rain and lay there until 4:00 AM trying to get back to sleep. I kept telling myself how my body needs to rest after such an intensive week. However, my mind was racing with all the events of the road work and despite being tired after so much shopping and cooking, sleep would not return.

I got up and sat out on the balcony with my coffee and listened to the trees dripping with the remains of the rain storm. I began to pray but was distracted by the peaceful setting (funny how sleep sounded so good once I had decided to get up!) so eventually I took my Bible and my coffee and headed into our prayer room. Everything was fine until I noticed a very large spider on the ceiling, which I have yet to be able to successfully get rid of. Instead, he sits taunting me as I failed twice to get a shot of bug spray to actually hit him!

 I ponder how many people are reading this. I use it as my journal but then, true to my Sanguine personality, I use a blog on the Internet as my private journal flamboyantly broadcasting my private thoughts to whoever would like to read them! It is difficult writing to such a large and unknown audience. Who all is reading this? Is it the faithful few? Or have many people found the website from all over the world? I haven't a clue, which creates somewhat of a vulnerable feeling in my heart. Yet, one of my greatest desires is to be transparent and share my faith and my failures as we live out our life as missionaries to Mexico.

So much is swimming around in my emotions. When deep things happen to me I get very introspective and quiet. The more meaningful a situation is the less outgoing I become. Actually, when I went on the mission trips to Mexico City, nearly 20 years ago, a lot of people thought I was an introvert because I was so quiet as we would ride the buses to our ministry destinations. I am far from being an introvert but that side of me comes to the surface when a situation affects me deep in my heart. 

This road work project is one of those introspective situations. So much has happened and so many prayers are being answered in our midst that I just stand humbled and amazed and surprisingly very quiet! (A loss of words is not something that I am known for within my family!)

This morning I had a fantastic prayer time. What does that look like? Well, in my opinion a "fantastic" prayer time is one in which I am praying the will of God into a situation rather than just filling the air space with words. I also had a revelation this morning about faith. I am always praying for more faith but I saw this morning that as I prayed for our neighbors I had tremendous faith while I was praying. Later as the presence of God dissipated and normal life began, the faith seemed to leave or at least decrease in a great measure. I think what I finally realized is that faith is like grace. God gives it to us as we need it and in the measure that we need it. I had "great faith" this morning as God poured his spirit upon me in prayer. I needed that faith to pray the things that he wanted me to pray for our neighbors and what he is doing in our midst. But as the prayers were completed and the spiritual battles accomplished, the necessary faith dissipated. Interesting! Just another thing to ponder in my very introspective mood!

How do I describe all that is happening around us? Yesterday was certainly a "red letter" day. Something occurred among the guys that didn't happen on the other work days. A lot of conversation is going on around the meals that Bethany and I are providing each day. Typically everyone comes to work on the road around 11:00 and would leave at comida time, which is around 3:00. Well, I have been serving comida so they all gather round, eat together and get to know one another. Gary has been so welcomed into the gang and into the culture that he even continues to speak Spanish when he comes back up to the house. He started telling me all about his day in Spanish, until I stopped him and said, PLEASE speak in English! I didn't want to miss anything!

The guys brought a little Tequila to share with Gary. Having never tasted it before he was certainly glad that he didn't despise this icon of the Mexican culture. Everyone had one small drink and Gary was specifically welcomed into the gang of men!

 Everyone knows that we are missionaries and has been asking questions about our family, ministry, and life. It's an amazing time of getting to know these men and their families. Yesterday, Gary and Nathaniel were working with sons, fathers, grandfathers, and father's in-law. It was definitely a family event for all of the local neighbor men. It's difficult to explain, because you have to understand the local culture and the little things that mean a lot but suffice it to say, Gary and Nathaniel were welcomed into the Mexican world of these men and their families. And of course, Bethany and I were also received into the family unit that these men represented.

This project is totally voluntary. The combi bus drivers, Luis and Gilberto, who live on the road below us, ordered 10 loads of dirt and rocks to be dumped on our road in order to fix it themselves and protect their combi

On the first morning, Luis was outside our window, all by himself with a shovel, beginning this horrible task of fixing the road one shovel load at a time. Gilberto was taking the combi rounds (they share a small bus and driving responsibilities.) Gary and Nathaniel quickly put down their Spanish language papers and headed outside, shovel in hand, ready to help. Other neighbors, seeing the work that Nathaniel and Gary were doing, began to join in as well. Now we have Luis and Gilberto, their sons, fathers, and grandfathers, as well as our immediate neighbors working together on the road. It's truly been an incredibly bonding experience among these men and such an answer to prayer.

We have been praying for an open door to get to know our neighbors who live on the road below us. We know where Gilberto and his family live and we smile and all wave to one another when we go walking. But we were praying for an opportunity to get to know them and their families and not just wave from a distance. Little did we know that God was going to answer that prayer with ten loads of heavy rock and dirt! Amazing!

Gary hugged me last night and thanked me for cooking the the each day. The food has created a wide open door to conversations and relationships with the men and their families. Something deep has been happening as they lay down their shovels and sit down on the gravel and eat a meal together. Sort of reminds me of how men in Jesus time reclined on the floor together and ate with one another. There's something about a bit of BBQ sauce dribbling down a man's cheek that puts everyone at ease and the real friendships begin.

Generosity is one of the main values of the Mexican culture. Generosity, family, improvement for their children's future, and religion are the four things that are basic values that the Mexican people hold dear. I think part of the receptivity of Gary and Nathaniel's work isn't so much focused on the work itself (self sufficient hard working men isn't what the Mexican culture is all about) but the generosity and team spirit of the work that Gary and Nathaniel are giving to the men and the meals that we are sharing with them. 

I don't know exactly where this all will lead but it's as if God has orchestrated a plan to concentrate years of effort of getting to know these men and their families, in one week's time! It's thoroughly astounding to watch this all unfold. In what other situation could we have had all the local men and their families for dinner? God's orchestration and wisdom never ceases to humble and amaze me!

Que Milagro!

Early morning ponderings

I'm sitting here enjoying my morning coffee looking out at my rosebuds on the balcony, which are just about ready to bloom. No one else is awake so it's proving to be a nice time alone, which doesn't happen often in a household of a retired husband and two teenagers! Usually when I'm alone I want to pray or write. My coffee hasn't kicked in enough for me to pray so I think I'll write!


Gary and Nathaniel will be joining the road crew again today. I don't know how many days of work they have in front of them but at least for now they are with them men for the long haul. I wouldn't imagine the work going beyond the end of this week so we are making sort of a work party out of it.










Yesterday Bethany and I made a bunch of Mexican tacos (The American version is nothing like them!) to serve the men. My kitchen was hopin! I had tacos on the stove sizzling, tacos in the oven warming, and tacos on the counter being made! Bethany was running back and forth setting up the table down by the men and carrying pitchers of lemonada, plates, and napkins down to where they were working. In all of her exuberance she fell on the gravel road and ripped up both her knees. She came in crying with blood running down her legs, right in the middle of my taco frenzy! I helped her clean her wounds, which were quite deep and nasty looking, as I continued to run back and forth to the stove!

Somehow we survived and served the food. I was nervous. It's one thing to cook Mexican food for my family and for our friend back in Colorado who grew up here. But its another thing entirely to cook a national favorite food for a gang of Mexican men who have wives cooking for them every day! Would they like it? Would the flavor balance be correct? Would my wrapping method be tight enough to be considered a taco and not an enchilada? But most of all, would they be good enough to be a service to the guys who were working so hard? My fears were all put to rest when Bethany brought up the nearly empty serving container and Gary told me that everyone loved them! What a relief!

Today Bethany and I will make BBQ meatballs and chocolate chip cookies! I think this will be a little easier to do ahead. Making tacos is very labor intensive and cannot be done earlier in the day. I will make the meatballs this morning and then put them in the crock pot to keep warm with the BBQ sauce. That way it will be a little easier to manage comida time!

Yesterday, while the guys took a break to eat, as they were sitting here and there on the ground, Gary heard a couple of them talking about the things of God and mentioned Gary's name specifically. He couldn't understand the whole conversation but heard enough to know that people were asking questions about our family and why we are here.

One of our neighbors up the street is a Christian. When he saw Gary and Nathaniel working with the guys, he came out and began to help. He was the one sharing with the guys about God's love etc. So even though Gary can't share in Spanish, just the fact that he was out working, opened the doors to the gospel!


Culturally it is a big deal for Gary to pick up a shovel and get sweaty and dirty with the poorer men down the road . There is an enormous amount of social hierarchy in Mexico. Those with a higher degree of status do not work along side those of a lower status. In fact, we think it is difficult for Carlos and Susana, to see Gary and Nathaniel working with common laborers. They seemed almost repulsed by what was going on yesterday. It's one thing for a business man to have car trouble and occasionally need to take a combi bus into town but to dig ditches with the combi driver is unheard of.

We shall see how this effects our friendship. If nothing else it will open doors of discussion and discipleship with Carlos and Susana along the lines of Jesus being a servant to all and our not coming to Mexico to be served but to serve others. We cannot tip toe around our calling. We have to do what God has called us to do whether people understand or not. Maybe in a tiny way this will work to chip away at the social hierarchy that has been in place since the times of Cortes! At least within our neighborhood it may do some good!

This is such a time of pondering. We see God working all around us and it is an amazing and surreal time. A lifetime of hopes, dreams and visions are wrapped up in the doors to ministry opening up before us. We pray that God uses us as we serve the Mexican people!

Milestone in Ministry

Milestones in our ministry come at unexpected moments. This is one of those times.

Our road is notorious for its bumps and ruts, particularly during the rainy season. Take any dirt road in the Pennsylvania national forest or any mountain road in Colorado and multiply the ruts tenfold and you have the road that our house is on! Our combi drivers and their vehicles suffer greatly as they drive over these roads a thousand times a day. The drivers, Gilberto and Luis, are also neighbors. Gary and I are getting to know their wives and their children every day as we live out our life in Mexico.

Yesterday afternoon, several truck loads of dirt and rocks were dumped right in front of our house and Gilberto was supervising the loads. Gary and I began to talk about what might be going on and if Gilberto and Luis might be fixing the road themselves so as to avoid personal injury as well as tremendous damage to the combis. (This is how the Mexican people deal with pot holes, a pick, shovel, and lots of sweat!) We decided that if they were indeed going to be working on the road themselves that we would cancel our language study for the day, while Gary and Nathaniel worked on the road with them.

This is the milestone in ministry that I was referring to. So many times in Loveland, Gary and I would sit on our swing and talk about our ministry in Mexico. Sometimes it only seemed like a pipe dream. Would these things ever come true? Then of course we had many people giving us encouraging words such as, "You'll never be able to do that" and my personal favorite; "Why will it work in Mexico when you've been failures in the States?" These words haunted us, yet, on those many afternoons on our backyard swing, among the flowers and the dry summer air, Gary and I knew that this vision was not born of man but born of God. If we were to "succeed" in Mexico it was all because of God and not because of our own cleverness or strength.

This afternoon we are living out the very things that we spent so many hours talking and praying about while we were in Colorado.

I would love to fill this blog with pictures of the men working. But right now I don't see an opportunity to take a few discrete pictures. I try to be so very careful as to not come across like a field representative of National Geographic that will plaster "sad Mexican poverty filled faces" all over the news. So for right now, you will have to use your imagination to see what I am seeing outside of our front balcony.

First of all there is our combi driver, Luis. He, Gary, and Nathaniel began working together this morning. Now there are an additional few guys and teen boys. I don't know who they are but probably relatives to either Luis or Gilberto. They are shoveling dirt and rocks from huge piles into the many deep ruts in the middle and sides of the road. They have been working for three hours now.

As soon as Gary and Nathaniel went down to help, Bethany and I took off for the grocery store to buy two large bags of limes in order to make limonada. When Gilberto picked us up in the combi and saw Gary and Nathaniel working alongside Luis, a smile spread across his face from ear to ear. I think I will always remember and cherish his smile. It was the earthly form of, "Well done good and faithful servant." His smile summed up everything we had hoped and dreamed for as our ministry in Mexico unfolds.

One thing we did not want to do was to come into Taxco and act like the saviors to all of Mexico's problems. One story that was told at our church made Gary and I cringe as we sat listening in our pew. Apparently a missions team from the states went to a "poor" area and began to pass out food and clothing. As the story unfolded the missions team told of a cardboard box house that a family was living in while the dad and son build a small but sturdy house of stone. The missionaries tossed food and clothing at them while the father stood in the background with his head bowed in shame. Gary and I went home from church and wept over that story. I'm sure the shame that the Mexican man felt as the Americans came in and dumped food at his family's feet, was far worse than the difficult situation of living in a cardboard box while building a home.

This is what we wanted to avoid. We pleaded with God, "No matter what it takes, protect us from this type of American way of giving that spreads shame and despair to the recipient". By the grace of God we are seeing how it is possible to work along side of the Mexican people, giving to them in discrete and honoring ways, without stealing a Father's ability to provide or a mother's desire to take care of her children.

I don't know what is going to come of this road work day but we want to jump on opportunities such as this when they present themselves. We really take pleasure in both these drivers but Gilberto in particular has stolen our heart. He is such a sweet man with a hearty laugh and smile. He has a little girl and a baby. Many times his wife will ride along with him as he makes his rounds hour after hour through the bumpy dirt roads around our house and then into Taxcocombi alone. Both drivers are this way but it is Gilberto, with his wife, baby and little girl that have stolen our hearts.

Gilberto and his family live on the road below us. They live in a cement block house with pigs and chickens all around. Every time we take a walk and his family is there, they are full of joy and laughter. His little girl giggles at us when she rides the combi, as she is still too shy to talk to this family full of gringos.

As a family we've been praying for Gilberto and his family. Yet, in Mexico the class system is alive and thriving. How could we really get to know Gilberto when we do not live in a cement block house that we share with pigs and chickens? This is a perfect opportunity to get down and dirty with them as Gary and Nathaniel sweat and work the day away along side of Gilberto, Luis and their families!

We are eternally grateful for the open doors that God has given us. It is not by chance that we have been praying for our combi drivers and suddenly huge piles of dirt are dumped right in front of our house, with the whole road repair job beginning at our front door! Thank you Father for your grace and your favor that has given us this blessing of getting to know our neighbors!