Feast of Tabernacles and Family retreat

 

As you know, this past month we celebrated a month of rest as well as a time of rejoicing before the Lord in the Feast of Tabernacles. Gary and I realize it is totally the opposite time of the year to observe this Jewish festival, but, calendar dates aside, we felt distinctly led by the Holy Spirit to set aside April as a time of celebration and seeking God as in the Feast of Tabernacles.

I want to share all that God has done in our midst. Yet, this is not only going to be a “glory story,” but the account of a real family full of the sorrow and joy that encompasses all of life.

Moving to Mexico slapped Gary and me in the face like nothing else had ever done before in our lives. Those of you who have known us over many years are familiar with our story of suffering and pain during the first ten years of our marriage. To those of you who are relatively new to our story, I will share very briefly. (I have written the whole account on our website.) Due to no out-right sin, rebellion, or fault of our own, within a six month period of time, we lost our job and income, we lost our home in Pennsylvania, we lost our ministry, nearly all of our friends forsook us, ridiculed us and judged us in our pain, we lost most of our belongings, we lost the manifest presence of God in prayer and worship, and nearly lost our newborn baby to death. It is a key point to realize that all of this “Job” (Job was a man of God who suffered greatly in the Bible.) type of suffering happened due to no fault of our own. There wasn’t a secret life of sin revealed or a logical reason for any of this to have happened. This pattern of pain, suffering and dying to self went on for ten painful years of our lives! It was a time of intense molding of our lives by the fire of the Holy Spirit and preparation for our future ministry to the hurting people of Mexico.

Despite all that we have been through in our life, our move to Mexico hit us in a very severe and unexpected way. Much to our surprise, there is still intense culture shock within a country where you love the everyday life and the people that make up the customs of the country. One dear friend said this to his wife when we were in Mexico City 20 years ago, “It’s not Mexico that’s driving me crazy it’s YOU!!!!!” Needless to say there were some sharp words spoken in that couple’s hotel room that evening.

Gary and I have reflected on our friend’s cutting words to his wife many times in the past year. Culture shock hits you upside the head and punches you in the gut. The agony is deep, severe and life changing. To those dear people who move to a country that they hate it must be 10,000 times more difficult. Nevertheless, for our family which loves Mexico and the Mexican culture, it has still been extremely complex, painful, and challenging. There have been many moments of joy, fulfillment and celebration along the way. Yet, in this writing I am sharing the painful side of our cross-cultural move so I will leave the joy of bounding through the mercado, the fruitfulness of Gary’s preaching, or the abundance of Mexican love and friendships for other newsletters and other blogs. Life is a mixture of sadness and joy. Because writing is a passion for me, I am moved to pour out my heart on paper when I feel tenderness, love, joy, and all the emotions of pleasure and happiness. This focus on the positive unintentionally leaves the reader with an unbalanced view of our life in Mexico. For the reason of transparency and of sharing the amazing work that God has done in our life, this writing is going to focus more on the painful side of our life in Mexico as missionaries.

We have read in many studies on the countries of the world, that Mexico and the United States are the most opposite and conflicting of cultures in the entire world! In other words, it is easier for someone from Colorado to move to China than it is for the same person to move to Mexico! Despite sharing a border, we as a culture share nearly nothing else with our neighbors to the South. It is an extreme change and, as I said, one that hits you in the gut with excruciating pain.

Within a year’s time, we moved to southern Mexico, moved to three different homes within Taxco, took on the restoration of an old house, began to learn Spanish, began our ministry in Mexico, and watched our children shoot from little children to full-fledged young adults. It has been a year full of immense change, trauma, and heartache, and we have been reeling from all that has happened to us.

By March, I was deathly ill from the worst sickness of my life that lasted eight grueling weeks. There were times when I seriously thought I was dying. Gary and I were fighting and didn’t know why. At times I felt the only options in my life were either suicide or divorce. The days were dark and lonely and the nights fitful and full of sorrow. Nathaniel and Bethany were sullen and distant. In short, we were falling apart as a family. The pain was very severe!

Despite all of this, Gary and I knew that we desperately loved one another. And as a family we knew that we shared a deep love and appreciation for Mexico and her people. We did not hate the cultural change, as those who are less compatible with Mexico do, but we all welcomed it with open arms.  Nathaniel and Bethany adored each other and had a deep walk with God and with Gary and me.  They, in particular, seemed to ease into the Mexican culture with joy and open arms. None of us regretted our decision to move to Mexico for even one second! Yet, as a family we were in gut-wrenching pain in the day-to-day of our lives.

I think the normal reaction to pain, as was our friend’s reaction in Mexico City 20 some years ago, is to blame each other. If we cannot blame the new culture that we love, we are prone to say to each other in anger, “It’s not Mexico that’s driving me crazy; it’s YOU!!!!!” In reality, though, it is the shock of the incredible cultural difference that creates such a stressful time within our family relationships. It took months for us to realize these things and time for us to figure out what to do about them.

In late March, in between fights, Gary and I would spend time praying together and seeking God deeply. One thing we felt certain about is that the enemy of our soul, Satan himself, did not want our ministry or our marriage to survive Mexico! We knew we were in a deep spiritual battle. We knew that the spiritual battle was the bottom line of everything. Yet, we also knew that there were human issues at work as well.

One thing that Gary and I realized was that, because of the enormity of moving to another country, we had not been there in prayerful support and love for each other as we had been in the past during difficult times. Despite our love for one another, our move to Mexico created an “every man for himself” survival reaction within our family. Everyone of us experienced a sense of abandonment from the other members of our close-knit and very loving family of four.

Gary knew a few Spanish words when we arrived and was left totally alone to take care of his family, navigate the necessities of life, and even get our shipment of personal boxes from Colorado to Mexico, all without the knowledge of Spanish or the support of his family. Gary was also dealing with all the emotions of retirement. It’s one thing to be 40 and become a missionary; it’s another thing to be on Social Security and become a missionary. Retirement is a major life event and Gary was tossed into dealing with all of the emotional adjustments of retirement upon crossing the border into Mexico!

 I was not supporting him as a wife should because I had my own immense changes to deal with. There were times I felt completely emotionally crippled by the enormity of the change around me. I could hardly breathe, let alone be a supportive wife and mother. I would weep over the isolation that I felt from Gary, yet did not possess the emotional energy to devote time and effort into our relationship. Every moment of every day I felt like I was being drowned by change. I would surface and gasp for air and another torrent of change would hit and I would go under with the force of the hurricane of the adjustments around me.

Nathaniel entered Mexico as a boy, and within a few short weeks began turning into a man. I never saw growth and puberty happen with such swiftness. It was tremendously difficult for him to deal with such rapidly changing emotions and body along with the force of culture shock. It was like watching the old 70s TV show, “The Incredible Hulk”. Nathaniel burst through his clothes and grew so rapidly that no one could keep up with transformation. He quickly advanced into a very deep bass voice, which is much deeper than Gary’s tenor tones, cultivated a mustache, and passed up Gary in shoe size and nearly in height! Nathaniel has had a very rough time dealing with such incredible personal transformations, along with being punched in the gut with cultural change.

Nathaniel’s surge into adulthood effected Bethany tremendously. Upon crossing the border into Mexico, Bethany suddenly lost all of her friends in Colorado and, due to the immense changes in Nathaniel, she felt like she lost her very best and most cherished friend, her brother. Suddenly, Nathaniel wanted to be a warrior and go jungle jumping with his machete and Bethany was still wanting to play town with Legos. Bethany felt incredible personal loss because puberty hit Nathaniel with power as soon as we crossed the border into Mexico. I think for Bethany’s tender soul, she felt as if she suddenly, in one giant swoop, lost everything dear to her. And Bethany cried out like Jo expressed in Little Women as Meg was going to get married, “Why does everyone have to change? Why can’t things stay the same?”

Another area of huge difficulty was that we all have struggled more than we ever imagined with learning Spanish. Everyone in Colorado had told us that our kids would be fluent in Spanish within a couple of weeks! This certainly has not happened! Despite Nathaniel and Bethany’s very high level of education and brightness, they have labored right alongside Gary and me in learning Spanish. After further research we have read that it is only little kids that pick up a second language rapidly. Teenagers must put a lot of effort in learning a second language and must work at it as an adult.

Along with all of this, we took on the most difficult work project of our lives in restoring our home and ministry center. We worked until we were completely emotionally, physically and spiritually spent. No wonder by March, after five months of grueling boot camp level exertion, we were falling apart at the seams!

In March, as Gary and I prayed we felt we were to set aside April as a time to rest our bodies and to celebrate before the Lord as they did in the Feast of Tabernacles.

However, despite our best intentions, April did not begin well! I continued with my illness to the point of desperation and deep, dark depression, which put untold stress and strain upon our family. Finally, my doctor put me on a lethally strong medicine-Leviquin. The medicine did its dirty work and killed everything in my body. After the severity of the illness subsided I began to experience gut wrenching diarrhea, stomach pain and nausea. This was related to the Leviquin killing everything in my body including everything good. My fever surged and I thought I was at death’s door once again. Thankfully, we were able to fight this bacterial imbalance naturally with billions of little Acidophilus organisms in pill form! After five days of spending my life in the bathroom, I began to feel my strength return and have been getting stronger and healthier ever since.

It was mid-April before I had the strength to walk up the stairs without getting exhausted! To say that this eight-week illness took a lot out of me and deeply affected our family would be a very large understatement. It was serious and severe and it has taken time to gain strength and a healthy body once again.

April also contained the demise of my one working hearing-aid. It seemed to be a month full of a continued feeling of loss, sickness, and depression rather than a time of seeking the Lord and celebrating at the Feast of Tabernacles!

Yet, God had not abandoned us! By the third week in April, Gary and I called a family meeting. We set aside a day to share our hearts with each other. Gary and I felt we needed to know where our kids were hurting and to finally listen to each other rather than lash out with blame (“It’s not Mexico that’s driving me crazy it’s YOU!!!!!”) in our pain. There were a lot of tears shed that day as Nathaniel and Bethany shared areas of hurt that no parent wishes to hear. We cried together, we prayed together, we asked forgiveness of our children,  and then we began a brainstorming session of how to heal as a family.

Around a plate of homemade cookies and a few glasses of milk, we wrote down on the white board everything that we missed about our family life in Loveland and how we could develop similar interests and shared times in Taxco. The white board filled up quickly as we shared our hearts of painful loss as well hopeful brainstorming for the future. It is not important in this writing to share all our plans for the future, but, needless to say, we are on a good path of healing together as a family.

That evening, Gary and I looked at the white board and realized that these things would heal our emotions and our family relationships, but what about our spirits??? We realized that the focal point of the battle was spiritual in nature and not limited to the physical world. (Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against human opponents, but against rulers, authorities, cosmic powers in the darkness around us, and evil spiritual forces in the heavenly realm.) Gary and I began to think about having a family spiritual retreat where we would spend time together and individually seek God on a deep level. As Gary and I talked and prayed, the specifics of the retreat unfolded and we began to get very excited about what God would do within our family at this time!

To say that we have the most amazing children on earth would be an understatement! Nathaniel and Bethany whole-heartedly welcomed the idea of a family retreat that began on Friday after dinner and ended on Sunday after church! This would not be the typical teen retreat full of contact sports, rock climbing and Nerf gun wars, but this was a time of intensely seeking God for hours, and this is exactly what our children wanted to do! We are so blessed by Nathaniel and Bethany’s hearts that love God and seek him with all of their strength, soul and body!

The guidelines of the weekend were as follows: We were to not do anything that would distract us from the presence of God. We turned off the computer (we don’t own a TV) and even limited our reading to things that would lead us into the presence of God. Not even Christian novels were to be part of our weekend, but only books that were written as tools to seek God in a deeper way. On Saturday during the day we were to be quiet when we were around each other and not get involved in idle chatter. This was a time of intensely seeking God that should not be interrupted by talk of the weather or “what’s for dinner”. We could eat anytime that we wanted to, but we would not interrupt the day with a family meal. We would get a bit to eat from the fridge and then steal away to our private space with God.

We made the decision on Wednesday so Thursday and early Friday were full of anticipation and preparation. We mopped and dusted the casita (little house in the back) and prepared it as a place of prayer and worship. We cooked food and stocked the fridge, cleaned the house and Gary prepared Bible study. Friday was full of an air of joyful expectancy as well as a little measure of fear. What if something went wrong? What if the whole idea fell flat and by noon on Saturday we were all bored silly? What if some tragedy hit which would send us further down the path of sadness and loss? Yet, mostly as we filled our home with praise and worship music, we were full of faith, knowing that God had something wonderful to do in our lives that weekend.

Friday evening we began our “retreat” at sundown with a Bible study on Hebrews led by Gary. We also had a time of worship that I led with a little help from Michael W. Smith and Darlene Zschech! ;) There was a distinct presence of God in our midst and a feeling of excitement.

Saturday morning we began with a short Bible study on seeking God and worship that brought us into the presence of God, and then we quietly went our own ways and planned on meeting back in the living room at 6:00 PM for a Bible study and worship time.

When I opened the front door to go out to the casita I felt a sense of suspense and anticipation in my spirit as I neared the door and heard the worship music already playing. We haven’t used the casita for anything in particular and have been somewhat puzzled at what it’s purpose would be. With such a large old house, how do we use a second small house? It was build for a live-in maid, but since we have no such plans for such an extravagance, what would this “little house” or casita become??? As I walked out, Bible in hand, to the casita with the worship music filling it’s rooms, God stirred something amazing in my heart!

When I crossed the threshold, months of pent up emotion flooded out and I began to sing and sing and cry out to God with my whole heart. When it was all said and done I worshipped and prayed for five hours throughout that day! I also spent time in Bible reading as well, but the majority of the time was spent in the amazing presence of God found through worship and prayer. It wasn’t the driving celebratory praise music that I was singing, but the more intimate, entering into the holy of holies, intense worshipful music that filled my heart and burst forth in song. It was an incredible time of being filled with the Holy Spirit and having his healing presence wash over me.

Little did I know that Bethany was to have a similar experience in the casita as well! We came up with a system, to put a flower pot in the corridor window to indicate when the casita was occupied. As soon as I headed up the path to the tree house to read my Bible, Bethany shot into the casita to worship and dance! God did an amazing work in Bethany’s life as she finally found the freedom to dance before her God with total abandon. She had spent many years with the excellent ministry, “Celebration Ministry of Arts,” and learned worship dance. But this was the first time that the worship dance burst forth in her own life apart from being part of the dance ministry. She was so excited to be alone and dance before her God. What an amazing time in her young life!

Nathaniel spent his day in study of scripture and in prayer. He took the seminary level commentaries on Jeremiah and Job up to his room and spent the day fellowshipping with God through study of the Word! What an exciting time in Nathaniel’s life who felt called to be a pastor since he was five years old! We are really seeing the fruit of his calling bursting forth as he is drawn, like his father, into fellowshipping with God through the active word of God! (Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.)

Gary also spent the day in prayer and studying scripture. He soaked in the presence of God and enjoyed a depth in the Spirit that he hasn’t felt in a very long time. Gary was revitalized from the months of pain through his study and time alone with God fellowshipping in the Word. His heart was softened and he received a fresh anointing to teach and preach the Gospel to the Mexican people.

As you may notice a parallel in our family. Bethany and I are the worshippers while Gary and Nathaniel are the ones who study and teach scripture. It is a parallel that we hadn’t clearly seen prior to our retreat weekend. But it was amazing to see it all come together as we saw what God was doing with us as individuals and as a family.

Saturday evening when we gathered for worship and Bible study, the room was full of the presence of the Holy Spirit. We sang and we worshipped and we cried out to God with heartfelt abandon. Gary taught on Hebrews 11, which was a tremendous culmination to our day of intensely seeking God in prayer, worship and soaking in the Word. Sunday morning, we went to church, still in an attitude of seeking God.

On Sunday afternoon we took a combi to a special restaurant, and not only celebrated the end of our retreat, but also the end of our Feast of Tabernacles month! We had an amazing meal and ended it with piña colada and truffle ice cream! When we came home, we were satisfied physically, renewed emotionally, and totally filled up with the presence of God in our lives. We sat around for hours and shared all that God had done in our hearts at this family retreat.

One of the major things that God did for Bethany and me was that in prayer, God revealed to me that he wanted the casita to be dedicated as a place of prayer and worship and nothing else! It is to be a little house dedicated to him, where his presence can dwell unhindered. The casita will be a place where worship music will play day and night and where we can come and go at any time and enter into the holy of holies and sit at the feet of Jesus! It was an incredible gift to be given this place of worship and prayer.

The casita is a perfect place! It is very private as it has very few windows. It is empty of furniture (we may get an easy chair for Bible reading purposes) so that it is very easy to dance before the Lord or pray energetically as I am prone to do! We have given one of our stereos to the casita for the purpose of having worship music being played throughout every day and every night. When we walk past the casita we are drawn into the presence of God simply by the existence of constant worship going on within its walls!

There also is a very dramatic redemptive quality to the casita. It was the most vile, the most sin-filled and the most disgusting place on this property. For months, Bethany and I couldn’t even enter it because we got nearly sick to our stomach when we did. It had every vile thing imaginable in the tangible world, and you can be certain that the demonic activity was very real and strong in such a place. As we cleaned it up and had major events of cleansing prayer over the casita, it began to lose its demonic characteristic. On Saturday as I raised my hands in worship and sang unto the Lord, I was drawn into weeping over the amazing redemptive life of God. He has taken the most vile, the most disgusting, and the most evil place that we have seen in Mexico and turned into a most holy place! A place where we can enter into the holy of holies and not be hindered by anything evil or worldly. Our God is amazing in how his grace floods through his chosen vessels, whether it be people or a building that he has chosen to contain his glory!

Despite everything wonderful that God had done in our hearts, there was a nagging question hanging over our heads as our retreat weekend came to an end. Where do we go from here? How does a one-weekend retreat solve all of our family’s problems and heal all of the pain in moving to another country? In short, it cannot! We realize that the filling of the Holy Spirit that we received over the weekend will dissipate as we enter into normal everyday life. What can we do to walk in the spirit in such a deep way throughout every day and not just during a retreat once a year?

 We talked about this as a family, for it was an issue of great concern as none of us wanted to go back to the way we had been. We prayed about it and what we feel God leading us to is to have monthly retreats similar to the one that we just had. We have set aside the second Wednesday of every month as a day to seek God as a family and enter into his presence in a deep and dynamic way. We also have changed our Bible study night from Sunday, which tends to get hectic, to Wednesday, where we can more thoroughly focus on God and not the issues of ministry in church.

Furthermore, having the casita dedicated to prayer and worship frees up an intense desire to be able to come into God’s presence unhindered no matter what time of the day or night. The casita, as a house of prayer, will be a place of filling every day of the year and not just during a retreat. Yes, I love my kitchen to worship in, but with a teenage boy who eats 3-7 meals a day, a husband and a teenage daughter in the house, it’s been difficult to find the time alone to privately seek God in my kitchen. The kitchen is more the place of celebration where I can put my praise music on and sing, sing, sing, but it is hardly the private place where any of us can pour out our hearts in prayer and intimate worship to God.

So here we are three days into the new month. How has our life changed after our Feast of Tabernacles celebration, and what does this have to do with our ministry to the Mexican people? Well, first of all, as God’s presence fills our lives, we are being healed from the pain that we have walked through. And as a natural result of this healing and filling we are able to give to each other as well as being able to give abundantly to the Mexican people. It is the old example of putting the oxygen mask on your own self prior to putting it on your child during an in-flight emergency. The lesson of that training is that we cannot help anyone else if we are passed out on the seat of the airplane from lack of oxygen. In our spiritual life we must be full of the presence of God, full of his word, full of worship and full of the Holy Spirit in order to have anything of substance and eternal value to give to our family as well as the Mexican people.

For that reason, this retreat and the month long Feast of Tabernacles has been vitally important to our ministry in Mexico. We cannot give to others what we do not contain in abundance. The spirit of God must flow bountifully out of our life for it to spill out on our friends and neighbors. We cannot be in a dry and desert place spiritually and expect any fruit to grow in our ministry. In view of that fact, we as a family are deeply committed to seeking God and being continually filled with him as we live out our lives as missionaries in Mexico!

Thank you for being a part of this journey with us! Your prayers and your personal ministry to us have been the life line of God in our lives during these months of transition and struggle. We are eternally grateful for your sacrificial ministry to our family!

With deep love and gratitude!

Gary, Rachel, Nathaniel and Bethany

 

Mercado adventure!

The Taxco mercado is unlike anything you've ever experienced. Before we arrived on that warm day in early March 2011, full of hopes, dreams and expectations, I had painted a mental picture of what the mercado in Taxco would include. My ideas and imaginations were completely wrong! For one thing, when we read about the steep hills of Taxco, we never anticipated that there would be extremely few flat areas in town! The only comparison I can make to the hills of Taxco is either Green Mountain Falls and Chipita Park, which are two small villages west of Colorado Springs, or Ouray, Colorado. Even so, they don't compare in the level of incline, but it's a good start to try to understand the winding, steep streets of Taxco.

"What does this have to do with the mercado," you ask? Well, the mercado is in a section of town where it is particularly steep and full of the twists and turns of a maze. Yet, it is a maze filled with exotic fruits, meat hanging on hooks, and Indio women selling little baskets full of vegetables. When we were living in Loveland, I had imagined Gary and myself "strolling" hand in hand through the fruits and vegetables, sipping a piña colada, and having this romantic international experience. Needless to say, the Taxco mercado is not at all as my imagination pictured, but it is wonderful just the same. The steepness inhibits the romantic strolling aspect of my dreams, as it is more like a roller coaster ride than a romantic saunter with your beloved!

The mercado is full of excitement and sensory stimulation. There's never a second where your senses are not being bombarded with fragrances, sounds, scents, or downright offensive smells. (Friday is fresh fish day—need I say more????)

As a writer, I pride myself in being able to describe what I have experienced and have the reader feel as if he has walked up and down the cobblestone streets of Taxco from the comfort of his living room. Yet, many things in Mexico makes me almost feel like the apostle John in Revelation.

In describing the vision that God is giving him, he continually says, "It was like". Sometimes there are simply not enough words to paint an adequate picture of the reality of what is happening. This is not to downplay Revelation, for it is my favorite book of the Bible, full of the majesty and worship of Almighty God. But in a very strange way I find myself trying to describe the different aspects of Mexico by saying, "It is like," rather than being able to give an exact description. I suppose this is because Mexico is 100% different than anything in the States. It is very difficult to take my readers to the mercado in Taxco via your imagination. As a writer, I would like to attempt to do this, though, because it is an important part of the entire Mexican experience, and certainly an intricate part of everyday Mexican life.

Mexico does not contain a pristine beauty, but an earthy attractiveness that somehow goes beyond the majesty and splendor of most places in the States. It's not the mountains of Colorado or a forested river in Pennsylvania, but there is a colorful life to Mexico that few understand and even fewer can resist.

The Taxco mercado has an intense energy about it that draws us down the serpentine streets and into the heart and soul of real Mexican life. There are many different ways to get into the mercado, and as a family we each have our own favorite way to walk down into the vegetable stalls and homemade tortilla stands. Personally I like to enter at "El Parque" or at "The Park". Come, let's go to the mercado together!

Before beginning my morning shopping trip, I walk to the end of our long rose colored stone hallway and pick out a couple of large bolsas (sturdy synthetic bags that are used to carry everything from carrots to kittens!), grab some change for the combi, and wait for the familiar squeak of the wheels and honk of the horn indicating that the small combi bus is driving by our house. On the combi, I smile and say, "Buenos Dias," to everyone on the bus and everyone replies with a smile and a "Buenos Dias". This greeting is repeated many times as children, parents, and little old Indio women get on and off the combi as it bumpily drives up and down the dirt road by our house. It's such a warm and friendly beginning to my shopping trip and sets the mood for a pleasant drive into town. It takes about twenty minutes to ride the rough and jarring four kilometers into the center of town. At any given moment there may be 20+ people on these buses built for about 12 people! The highest head count we've taken is 24 people on these small vans! The doors are permanently roped open to make easy access for people getting on and off, and seat belts are completely unheard of! By the time the combi climbs up the steep cobblestone street into the center of town, I feel like I have become close personal friends with everyone that has shared the ride with me. What a pleasant way to begin my day!

I climb down the steps of the combi at the Zocalo, say "Gracias" to our driver and friend Luis, and walk to the ATM to get pesos for the anticipated fruits, vegetables, and fresh meat. Taxco enjoys a measure of affluence from tourism. Because of this the center of town, the Zocalo, is beautifully surrounded with lovely trees and many flowers.

From the Zocalo I walk a fairly level stretch of street to "El Parque", past numerous silver shops, restaurants, men selling hats and ladies selling woven baskets.

 There is one man who sits on this section of street. He is blind and has an very old guitar that he plays and sings along in a raspy off key tone. I always try to have some pesos in hand to drop into his cup. I squeeze his hand or pat his shoulder as I drop in the much needed pesos and go on my way. There is an air of excitement, energy and joy that seems to burst forth from the streets of Taxco. Everyone is out and about doing something, but not in a mad focused rush, but with the joyful exuberance so typical of the Mexican people. Along the way I may see a neighbor or a friend. I stop to give them a kiss on the cheek and to ask how they are and how their family is doing. We kiss again before saying, "Hasta luego", and I go on my merry way! If I were at all depressed or sad when I left the house, by this time I am part of the joy and liveliness that the Mexican people share with all who will receive her!

At "El Parque", before rounding the bend and heading down into the mercado, I stop at a stand selling fresh juice and for ten pesos get a celery, nopal (cactus), and pineapple juice! It's VERY green, yummy, and healthy too!

As I walk on the cobblestone street down into the mercado I pass many Indio men and women sitting on the side of the street selling their fruits and vegetables. The mercado has many permanent stalls that close and lock up at night, but there are also scores of individuals who bring their baskets of produce, sit down on the side of the street within the mercado, and have a small offering of tomatoes, chiles and various other items. There are typically strawberries along this initial street. I make a mental note of who has the largest, juiciest berries as I walk by, knowing that I will purchase them later so as to not have the tender juicy fruit smashed underneath the heavier pineapples, fresh chickens and sacks of oranges!

The journey down, down, down, into the mercado is delightful, with many different sights and sounds. First of all, there is a veterinarian who sits in a small store front selling puppies, guinea pigs, and baby chicks! And then there is the hardware store that specializes in machetes, knives, and leather boots. As I walk on, I see numerous clothing stores with the latest size 2 fashions from clueless designers that don't understand Mexican body proportions or that it is a national pastime to feast on pork rinds and coke!

From there I walk up a set of cobblestone stairs around several bends and alongside what we affectionately call, "The Inside Store". It's the nearest thing to a grocery store within the mercado, and they have some difficult-to-find items, such as cocoa and soy sauce! I pick up some "arroz integral" and head down another set of steps towards the produce and chicken area.

This is probably the widest and flattest section within the mercado, and on Fridays, it is full of one table after another of fresh fish for sale. To say that we avoid the mercado on Fridays would be an understatement. We are not terribly found of seafood, and by mid-morning the stench from the fish sitting out without refrigeration is fairly sickening, so this is one day that we only head to the mercado when absolutely necessary!

On other days of the week this section is full of women selling fresh masa dough, from the more typical yellow to blue and all types and colors in-between!

Around the corner from the tortilla dough sales, I turn and go directly to the cheese area. I order some panela and manchego cheese by the kilo, which is hand cut and placed into a bag just for me!

This level of the mercado is probably our most frequented area. There are numerous stands of vegetables, fruits, dried beans and spices, and of course the fresh chickens that hang on hooks and are sold fresh with feet included! At the dried bean stand, there is a young gal with a deformed hand. She does very well, despite her disability, at measuring and weighing scores of bolsas of frijoles, ajos, y chiles!

From there I pass numerous men yelling out that they have the best oranges, lettuce, or chiles and would I like some??? They are quick to hand me a clear plastic bag to fill with their choice produce. The fragrance is intoxicating! The guavas alone infuse the area with their intense sweetness, let alone all the added fragrances of mangos, pineapples and many other tropical treasures! At this point in my shopping trip there are also several middle school-aged boys following me around asking me if I would like them to carry my bolsas! The Mexican work ethic and creative way to earn a peso begins very early in life!

I am headed to the poultry aisle where I will buy a pollo entero (whole chicken), which comes complete with feet and other interesting innards! The chickens are either hung up on hooks or laid out on the seller's counter. I greet the smiling woman and say, "Buenas tardes", (by now it is afternoon) "Pollo entero, por favor". She quickly grabs the best looking chicken, lets me see it in order to okay the sale, and puts it in a plastic bag for me.

I thank her and round a couple of bends and walk up yet another set of stairs to the meat section of the mercado. There I will buy cecina for tacos and chilaquiles, chuleta for breakfast and a pot roast for Sunday dinner.

The meat floor is probably the most shocking aspect of a Mexican mercado from the American perspective of clean and regulated USDA packaging! Big slabs of beef are hung everywhere in the warm tropical breezes in order for passersby to choose the best cut of meat! There is a distinct "fragrance" to the meat floor and one not nearly as pleasant as the guavas and mangos below! At first I had no clue what these cuts of beef were because they weren't in tidy USDA (sorry Eddie!) packages with a nice label on them. I am finally learning how to buy meat in the Taxco mercado, what Spanish words to use and how to compare sellers and pick the ones who sell the freshest and best quality meat.

One of the delightful aspects of having shopped in the mercado for over a year now, is that we are getting to know different merchants and they are getting to know us! Many times, instead of putting the chicken or the roast beef in our bag that has been sitting out all morning, they will treat us with out-of-the-ordinary care and go in back to the cooler and pull out a fresh chicken or cut of meat. We would never ask for such treatment, but as we are getting to know different vendors, they are beginning to give us the exceptional attention that they give to their friends and family! This is particularly comforting to my American sensitivities to meat sitting out for hours in 90-degree heat!

After I pick out a nice roast to share with friends on Sunday afternoon, I head back down to the fruit aisles and begin a search through mangos, pineapples, papayas, and guavas, in order to find this week's fresh fruit choices.

Typically, when buying this many items Gary and I go together because it is simply impossible for one person to carry all of this up and down the many stairs of the mercado. Our fruits and veggies are always piled high over our bags, along with our meat, poultry, and spices! Gary always jokes with the passersby that look at our bursting bolsas as he communicates to people that he is my burro! But for right now, I'm on an adventure in the mercado by myself. I think at this point I am going to limit my fruit choices to a few mangos and then possibly the strawberries that I spotted on my way into the mercado.

The mercado is actually a very large sectioned off area of sellers covering several city blocks! Along with every Mexican food item imaginable there is also a very large section of merchants selling everything from the latest jeans to soccer balls and everything in-between, even wedding dresses! A person could spend a week in the mercado and still not see each stall and visit every mearchant!

All around me there are people making their purchases for that day's meal. The atmosphere is hurried but not grumpy or impatient. There are children laughing, mothers pressing in for the best choice fruits and wrinkled old men helping their wives navigate the crowd.

Passing the bright green tomatillos, I cannot resist the idea of going home and making some salsa verde. Standing close to me is an Indio woman who seems to think that my corner of the pile of tomatillos is best so she inches her way close to me and we begin to dig through the pile together, squeezing and inspecting each fruit. There is almost an air of a friendly contest as we both try to out do each other in who gets the best fruit! In reality there isn't much of a battle for all the fruit are wonderful and everyone wins!

 

Finally, after deciding that I simply cannot carry any more fruit, it is time to head back to "El Parque". I drag my bolsas up the cobblestone stairs by The Inside Store, drop them to the ground, and enjoy people watching for a few moments rest. Suddenly a very old wrinkled Indio woman nearly crawls up the stairs and carefully sits down upon them. This dear woman is shaking quite noticeably and wipes her brow. She is very elderly, extremely thin and wrinkly, and looks very ill. My heart begins to break. I get distracted and looking back she has disappeared into the bathroom. Paying the peso for entrance into the small darkened bathroom with a  couple bare toilets, I must find this woman. There is a trough set up for hand washing and I see the water trickle over her wrinkled hand and her reboso slipping off her shoulder. She is trembling as I put my arm around her and put some pesos into her ancient whithered hand. I whisper, "Que Dios le bendiga!" (May God bless you). She is overwhelmed with gratitude and begins a long conversation in Spanish which I do not understand. I hug her again. With a lump in my throat, a prayer on my lips, and a tear in my eye, I say goodbye and walk away.

The walk up to "El Parque" is difficult. It is up hill all the way, and with heavy bolsas it is all I can do to get to the top. I am shaken by the elderly lady and as I walk I continue to pray for her. Deep in my heart I am desperate to learn Spanish in order to share with her the love of God.

I am almost at the top and I spot the lady selling the strawberries that I saw coming into the mercado. The prospect of adding something else to my load does not appeal to me, but these berries are bright red, juicy and large so I succumb to yet another purchase of fruit! I walk past the juice stand and then onto the park bench of sorts where I will wait for our combi.

We have two combis, 70 and 109, that do a circuit from our house into town and then back again. One of them will typically arrive every 20 minutes or so but sometimes they are running close together and we have the whole 45-minute wait for them both to circle back around. Thankfully, this afternoon they are running "on schedule", and after a ten-minute wait I spot 70 coming towards me. I struggle to get the bolsas up the stairs into the combi, but manage as others on the bus help me in the door. It is so pleasant to finally sit down after such an adventurous morning and early afternoon. Today, there are quite a few women on the combi, bolsas in hand, waiting to get home and make the afternoon comida.

When the combi veers off to the right and heads down past Los Jales, then through Cantarranas, and finally through Aguacatitlan, we are almost home. Casallas is the last stop before heading back itno town. Our road is dirt and tremendously bumpy. These combis are old and not noted for their comfort! Yet, holding onto my bolsas for dear life is part of what makes this whole experience so beautiful. There is a strong sense of all being in this together on the combis and, as I said, we all tend to feel like close personal friends after a ride into town or a ride home after an exhuberant shopping trip.

We are almost home and pass our old apartment on the left. If Luis is daydreaming he may forget to stop at our house and I have to yell, "Bajan!" to remind him. Otherwise, all the drivers know where the "gringo family" lives, and typically we do not have to remind them to stop at our house. When the squeak of the wheels finally stops in front of our driveway, I pay my 5 pesos and get off. Thankfully, Gary or Nathaniel will be waiting at the front door to help me carry everything in. I am back home! I am delighted after such an enjoyable day in the mercado!

Worship in a garden!

Yesterday we planted our first flowers and potted some of our first house plants since we moved to Mexico. Believe it or not we feel that gardening is a key part of settling our family into Mexico as missionaries! Gary and I have talked at length about our ministry in Mexico as well as our life in Mexico. Gary and I are rebels of sorts. We don't go by the rules that people have established. On the other hand, we ALWAYS seek God and are obedient to his voice as well as following whole heartily after scripture. So on one hand, we don't go by man made rules but we acknowledge unreservedly God's authority and give him total control from the tiny issues to the life changing events.


 We really don't really fit in as expats. Expats to Mexico tend to be extreme tree huggers and "free thinkers" as in, everybody can do what ever they want and it's alright with them. There's a lot of old hippies who have settled in Mexico who are living out their 1960s flower child freedoms in the heart of lawless Mexico. When we casually mention that we are missionaries to expats we are hated and despised and have even been called "SATAN" among American expats simply for lovingly spreading the Gospel message! It always strikes me as odd how people like this extend "grace" to every religious persuasion imaginable-except believing Christians! It's as if the free thinkers are only free to think anti-Biblical. Once God and the Bible are mentioned there is clear hatred and rejection. One man, from the expat forum did a Google search and found our ministry website and began harassing us simply from finding our website. I had only accessed the forum to find out about Vitamins in Mexico. I never once mentioned religion or the fact of being missionaries but he saw our e-mail and proceeded to harass us in the name of religious freedom! UGH!


On the other hand, we don't fit in with the typical missionary that we've met in Mexico either! Most missionaries tend to despise the culture where they serve and travel back and forth to the States in order to recuperate from the trials of living within their country of service.  Many times they do not empty themselves of their culture and welcome their new country where God has called them to serve. A lot of missionaries tend to cling to what they've had and reject anything remotely different. They create comfy American homes and live in missionary groupings where they have friendships among themselves and there only connection with the culture that they are living in is the servants who clean their homes. They build American churches, teach American songs, and try to force the American culture on all who accept the gospel message. Most missionaries go with a team or with a missions organization who has a strong American presence in the particular country of service.

Obviously, this is not our approach to being missionaries so sadly we don't fit into the missionary "club" although we are giving our lives for the Gospel! In some ways this is difficult as we don't get the wide spread encouragement, prayers, and financial support that someone giving their lives for the Gospel desperately needs.

Very thankfully though, we do fit in with the Mexican people! We feel so at home with our friends and neighbors and know that this is the "club" that we belong to! I think God has ordained it to be that we don't fit in with either of these groups so that we would more readily welcome our Mexican friendships and neighbors.


What I wanted to write about in connection with our being "rebels" of sorts is our approach to ministry and life in Mexico. Gary and I feel that all of these more "selfish" pursuits are an intricate part of the whole tapestry that God is weaving within our life in Mexico. For one thing, we are a family, we are a couple, and we are people that God created to live and enjoy beauty. Gary and I don't believe in asceticism that says the only way to be Godly is to suffer relentlessly! We feel that we will have much more to offer our Mexican neighbors if we have a garden to pray in and a home large enough to welcome many people into our lives. Gary and I  never plan on building a church. If God calls us to do that some day we will but we feel called right now to build our home and welcome others into our family, our home, and our gardens as part of God's creation rather than welcoming people into a sterile building full of programs and events.

So yesterday was a gardening day but it wasn't separate from who we are as missionaries. It is all part of the package. We garden in our home as possibly a nun would wash the dishes in the Abby or a group of women who would get together to prepare a huge church supper! We are preparing a place of beauty and joy for others to share in. Therefore, we garden as unto the Lord and had a wonderful time doing it! It's amazing how many ordinary things can be worshipful when we allow them to be so. When God is our all in all we can worship while planting a beautiful Lily or while sifting our hands through dirt and smelling the lovely fragrance of dark rich soil!

Yesterday was a day of worshipping among the splendor of God's creation. A day to celebrate what he has given us to share with our friends and neighbors. A day to rejoice in him as we put little seedlings into the ground looking forward to a glorious harvest of beauty!

The whisper of a kiss

I haven't written in my blog in over a month!  I did write in the middle of March and then went in to correct a typo and lost the whole thing because our Internet service disconnected during my "save"! I got so discouraged with the sporadic Internet connection that I put it on hold for awhile.

In any case, I also don't have one subject to write about but it seem like many little things have come to my mind lately.

One thing that I am noticing as a huge blessing of being in Mexico for over a year is that we can now look back at last year in Mexico as our remembrance rather than looking back to Loveland. There is something very settling about weathering an entire year a new land. For instance, I walked downstairs a few minutes ago and thought, "It's about time for the "Stupid Beetles" to come into season." (These are the stupidest bugs you will ever find and so we have given the official title of "Stupid Beetle!) Of course that is a very odd thing to make us feel at home in Mexico but it is comforting never the less to now have a history in Taxco. Yesterday as I was cleaning the house I thought to myself, "I am really ready for the rains to come". Last year we were saying, "I wonder what the rainy season will be like???" So in this very different country called Mexico, it is very comforting to have the "remember whens" beginning to be established in our every day life.

Something that I struggle with is trying to measure up to people's expectations of our life as missionaries. Actually, this is not really any kind of spoken expectation from anyone but something that I have imagined in my own emotions regarding what "people" (I don't really know who that is!) think about what we are doing here. Maybe it is the wide range of friends that are sharing in this journey??? As a former (well sometimes former) people pleaser it is much easier to please people from one type of demographic than from every walk of life imaginable! Our entire life is being communicated non-verbally, which always poses the risk of being misread. Regardless, relationships are built upon trust. Because of this, I believe that our friends have some measure of faith and trust in our life in Southern Mexico, whether every word or deed is understood or not. I always try to write from my heart but there are many many faucets of our life in Taxco. The written word is not large enough to contain them all, so perhaps you'll have to come visit the beautiful country of Mexico and experience this adventurous life as missionaries in Southern Mexico for yourselves!

On Saturday, I went to breakfast with my husband and enjoyed a romantic day and evening with him, I got burned when pulling out biscuits from the oven, I had a wonderful time of worship during a rare dry season rain storm, I nearly kissed a spider that had crawled on my drinking glass, I wrote a letter to a friend, my step son and his beautiful girl friend got married, I mopped our very large balcony, I took a nap as my adventures with Gary wore me out (still a bit sick) and watched Dick Van Dyke with my family. Yet, what sticks out in my mind is a kiss from a neighbor man, so this is what I'm going to write about! (See the many faucets of life in Mexico!)

 Gary and I went to breakfast at a local small restaurant in the cool of the morning. We had such a pleasant time chatting together over chilaquiles, cafe con leche and panes dulces! This little restaurant has become "our place" as it is inexpensive and full of the charm and character of our home town. There aren't many tourists who enter this rustic Mexican restaurant but it is a place where the locals gather for a family meal or breakfast with a friend. Gary and I have enjoyed many a morning in this little local "hole in the wall". After we shared breakfast together we then decided to walk through the many booths set up for the upcoming Semana Santa celebration in Taxco. As we were walking hand in hand, we met a neighbor man, who promptly kissed me when we said hello! This kiss meant so much to me, as the last time I greeted him there was no kiss included. This is the Mexican kiss of friendship and it means SO much and is such a part of life in Mexico.

The mutual kiss on the cheek for men and women or women and women is the equivalent to the abrazo for two men. Gary and I never cease to be amazed when we are welcomed into this aspect of Mexican life. For instance, the guy who delivers our water jugs gave Gary and abrazo last week as he delivered our water. What an honor to be welcomed into relationships and to be on common ground with our neighbors. When these things happen and amazingly they happen often, it is as if a little voice from Heaven is saying, "Well done good and faithful servant". These are the cues that we are doing this life as missionaries right. Or at least being faithful to be the type of missionaries that God has called our family to be. And this is the reality that we are "pleasing" people in Mexico even though many times I don't feel that I am "pleasing" people in America!

So on Saturday, after being sick for so long and somewhat removed from outside life, to receive a kiss from our neighbor meant a tremendous amount to me. It is a natural easy flowing kiss and one that says that we are part of Mexican life. Yet, the kiss and abrazo (Male hug) isn't open to strangers, tourists, and those who maintain their American mindset. This is why it is such a huge deal yet on the other hand, it is the most natural thing and fits very easily into every day life. Except of course for the time that I accidentally kissed a man on the ear as sometimes its a bit difficult to anticipate a person's precise movements! I still feel the embarrassment of that moment in Mexican life! But generally speaking it is very natural and puts everyone at ease and in the bond of friendship.

What is so important isn't the fact that kissing among friends is a fun and warm part of Mexican life but that we are being welcomed into the depths of Mexican relationships. This is exactly how we felt God wanted us to pursue our mission's work. As I mentioned, with each kiss, it's as if we hear the Father saying, "Well done good and faithful servant!"

The welcoming mat into our neighbor's lives and the barrio of Casallas means so much to our family. This is where our ministry will begin, this is where God has called us and this is probably where we will live and die! Therefore, all of this is incredibly important yet amazingly simple. It's sort of the same as when a child crawls up into your lap and says, "I love you Mama". It's nothing profound for the child. There isn't fanfare, there isn't royalty, there isn't a banquet dinner. Yet, every parent cherishes these moments because they realize the importance of the love of a child. It's the same way that we feel about our relationships in Mexico. None of these things demand a large reaction but they are the response of the Mexican people saying, "Hey, I like you and want you to be a close friend!" These are important moments for Gary and me as we give birth to our life-long ministry in Mexico!

We have learned long ago that as soon as we think we have God all figured out he surprises us and does something unexpected. Therefore, we make no demands of the future other than to be obedient to his will and his plan for our life. It is our spirit-led assumption that we will be spending the rest of our life here in Southern Mexico. This is not based on human choice or pleasure but on being obedient to the Father. Regardless of what the future holds Gary and I feel we are to build our ministry in Mexico as if we will be here for the rest of our lives. If God has other plans then so be it, but for now we are here for the long haul. This means that we are not blasting into Mexico with major evangelistic services but we are serving our neighbors quietly developing deep and lasting ties within entire family units. This is how major and lasting change will happen and because we have our entire lives before us we can take it slow and invest our time, resources, and love within the people around us!